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Obama Wins Nobel War Prize

“The President Will Begin By Thanking Congressional Democrats ‘For Campaigning In 2006 On The Antiwar Agenda, And Then Turning Around Once In Office And Funding The War They Claimed To Oppose’”

Obama Wins Nobel War Prize by Sandy K, Military Resistance Organization.

As the July 2011 deadline for Afghan troop withdrawal nears, President Barack Obama is gearing up for another significant milestone, the Nobel War Prize awards ceremony, which will be held in Oslo next month.

Obama has been selected as this year’s winner of the first inaugural prize to commemorate the world leader who has “best advanced the goals of war and militarization across the globe,” amongst a notable cast of runners-up that includes NATO’s head Anders Fogn Rasmussen, China’s premier Wen Jiabao, and former President George W. Bush.

The selection committee includes a host of venerable war-makers in their own right, including Syria’s Bashar al-Assad, Yemen’s Ali Abdullah Saleh, and Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi — each of whom will be honored in a special category celebrating the “Leaders that Wage War on Their Own People.”

Among Obama’s list of war accomplishments, the committee highlighted Obama’s decision to double the number of troops and expand the number of private contractors in Afghanistan, as well as his dramatic escalation of drone strikes and targeted assassinations in Yemen and Pakistan.

According to one committee member, “Two years ago, we worried that President Obama would rollback Bush administration policies and pursue a peace agenda, but in fact he’s expanded the militaristic Bush approach to counterterrorism. He’s managed to get the U.S. involved in three wars in the Middle East, keep Guantanamo open, and dramatically expand the use of covert CIA capture/kill operations across the globe. We could not think of a more worthy candidate for this award.

” News this week that the CIA is building a secret military base in the Middle East had the committee buzzing with excitement.

One judge noted, “We applaud Obama for presiding over 865 military bases abroad at a cost of over $102 billion annually. At a time when the country is faltering from the economic crisis, Obama’s decision to approve the construction of more bases deserves praise.”

Obama’s speechwriters are hard at work preparing his acceptance remarks, and PolicyMic managed to obtain a preview of the speech from a source inside the White House.

The president will begin by thanking congressional Democrats “for campaigning in 2006 on the antiwar agenda, and then turning around once in office and funding the war they claimed to oppose.”

He will also thank Congress for “stepping aside and allowing me to go to war in Libya without Congressional approval and once again approving the Patriot Act despite years of supposed opposition.”

Ceremony organizers carefully timed the event in order to nudge Obama toward breaking his pledge to begin a significant troop withdrawal in July — a course the president is strongly considering.

They are urging the president to permanently take the Nobel Peace Prize down from his bookshelf and replace it with the war prize next month.


Extracted from Military Resistance, (formerly GI Special), the magazine of the Military Resistance Organization. See the next post for more information about the organization.


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